His heart was in a box,
Wrapped and unscathed…
Her heart was scarred,
Bruised and bandaged…
Each mesmerized by the other,
They came together to complete one another.
I won’t pretend that you don’t love me, whether I do or not. I would rather have gratitude than awkwardness.
Literature, history, society, they have all used this term with such liberty that almost makes it a scientific fact.
So I began to analyze where it came from. What was it about women that from time unknown, they have been marked as the weaker sex?
And by whom? What was the logical reasoning behind the statement that has been doing the rounds for centuries, in all parts of the world?
Is it the emotional aspect?
Biology ensures that women go through an emotional rollercoaster all their lives.
From mood swings to depression, they deal with it all and yet they always appear as the dash of colour on a gloomy canvas.
Their smile is infectious, their eyes full of mischief, their demure nature is not without coquettish manners.
The patriarchal society insists on discriminating against them at all possible levels.
To live with the knowledge that, though they were lucky to survive but there are parts of this world where they would have been killed for being a girl.
To withstand the fact that their being is socially & universally accepted as an insult when the other gender is instructed not to ‘cry like a girl’,’run like a girl’,’be like a girl’!
All their lives, they indulge in the battle against prejudices, some with the world and some with themselves.
Maybe it’s the physical aspect that makes women a weaker sex.
According to WHO, 1 in 3 women experience domestic violence. That is 35 percent of the woman population.
And yet, most of them go on living their lives, taking care of the home & their partner and bringing up their children.
Enduring all that comes their way and trying to make better lives for those around them.
There is another phrase that amazes me.
“Do you have the balls to do it?” The most sensitive, most delicate organ of a male anatomy is somehow a representation of courage, bravery and strength!
If something needs to represent strength, shouldn’t it be the part where humans come out of, after all the agony & torment that the mother goes through?
And yet despite all the pain, she spends a lifetime bestowing the purest, most unadulterated love on that child.
Where is the weakness?
The only delicacy that exists is in her grace, her charm.
The softness is in her voice, her words.
She is an epitome of mental vigour.
Every scar that damages her, make her only more fierce and profound.
Not one, not two, almost every woman in the world goes through a pain, unbelievable & excruciating and comes out, filled with exceptional volume of love & warmth.
So I am still not sure who coined the term & why!
If violence & aggression are the true measure of strength, then yes, maybe that’s where this phrase comes from!
I realized I spend more time planning my trips than actually travelling. I am not the one to go and book a packaged tour as they never fulfill my appetite for exploring a city. Hence, I spend hours going through travel websites and blogs and google maps before I finalize a trip.
If you are one travel research junkie too, read on.
From translator to packing planning, I have mobile apps for all my travel needs. Download Hopper for great flight deals, AirBnB for stays, Packpoint to get your travel checklist! Google Trips is a new thing but definitely worth the try.
Begin with the weather reports and read through the cultural beliefs. Know that the best time to travel isn’t always when everyone else is! A place always holds much more than the so called tourist spots and that is what you need to look for. The must try dish or restaurant, the coolest adventure spot, the festival to attend, the famous artist’s home, the old bookstore, there are several hidden treasures in town that truly resonate its spirit.
Travel means connecting to the soul of the place.
Anyone knows to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris but the point is to not miss the Street art at the Canal St. Martin on the 10th arrondissement.
From AirBnB to Couchsurfing, look for the most convenient, most cost efficient and a cozy solution for stay. There are hotels for luxury, but the experience of sharing a cup of coffee & listening to stories from a native, are priceless. Travel enriches our soul but more importantly, it holds the power to bring cultures closer, to bring people together.
Travel tips to must do things, collect any info you can and get the most from the trip you plan.
Host people from various countries (Couchsurfing) and their first hand, native knowledge will give you all the information that you can’t find on the internet.
I know a well planned trip can be a great experience but I believe that the most unforgettable journeys are those where we leave room for something unplanned! Hence, in my travel blueprint, there is always scope for some spontaneity, some aimless wandering or unexpected adventures!
Well, whether you like your trips planned or not, the rule should be…
A night hawk, an owl, an insomniac! I have been called a lot of things. That wouldn’t change how madly am I in love with the beautiful night.
The pleasantness of the breeze; the starry sky; moon peeping through the amorphous shadows.
Somewhere at the horizon, fireworks creating art on the black canvas.
Darkness has never been scary. Instead, I have found it peaceful and calm. The day goes by in living; reaching some place we have to go, doing something we ought to do, meeting deadlines, running through life, handling the world outside! But everything comes to a standstill as the sun goes down and the darkness takes over. There is no chaos outside. The mind isn’t racing to compete, to survive. When the world around goes quite, I get to look inside. This is when I truly feel alive.
Finding a long lost friend and spending a night talking about life and more. When the heart’s desires and fears pour out uninhibited. Conversations in broad day light can never be as satisfying.
Nights are my sacred place; when I can hear my heartbeat and my thoughts are clearer. When love is felt, the strongest and the pain is truest. When songs are more soothing and the silence is filled with philosophies.
I may not comply with the rules of the world.I may never get up to see the sun rise. But if you knew the night like I do, you would know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t give up for my inspiring, serene, beautiful night!
I often come across people saying, “Bangalore is Boring”, “There is nothing to do here”, “I don’t know what to do on my weekends”!
And I wonder, where the hell are you coming from? What does any city offer that Bangalore doesn’t? How can you ever get bored in a city like Bangalore!!
I have been here for a while now. I haven’t yet seen all of it but I have tasted most flavours of the city.
Let’s not forget that the core of any city lies in its history, its monuments, and gardens (ofcourse! in the Garden City). First things to check out from your list should always be these places. They may or may not interest you too much, but it is always worth a try. I am going to talk only about things I have done. And trust me, there is a lot I haven’t.
The Bangalore Palace (You might even see local serials & movies being shot. Honestly! Daggubati Venkatesh did give me priceless smile),
Bannerghatta national park (specially the Butterfly glass house…in monsoon; it’s like being in one of the animated fairytale movies),
Industrial and Technology Museums & HAL Aerospace Museum,
The Planetarium (remember how you loved it when you were a kid, you might still love it as much),
Lal Bagh (try catching the flower show),
ISKCON temple (I am not the religious kind, you don’t have to be either…enjoy the beautiful artwork, the architecture, the animated Radha Krishna series [You might be ROFL], and the delicious hot khichdee),
Pass by the iconic buildings in the city like Vidhan Soudha, Attara Kacheri (The High Court) or even Vijay Mallya’s house if you wish. Wherever your heart takes you! I know I stood in front of Rahul Dravid’s house in the middle of the night!
Now that you have been going around for a while, am sure your stomach must be grumbling. Food is another essential thread in the fabric of a city. But wait, before you plan on going to the most amazing restaurant in town, eat the local food, in local places. Again, I am only mentioning where I have been. You can find a much longer list if you search.
VV Puram Food Street ( No, street food doesn’t just mean Golgappas and Parathas. We are not in Delhi, remember! Try out the delicious South India snacks.)
Vidyarthi Bhavan (Let not the long queue deter you. And when you see plain Dosas overloaded with ghee [the only Dosa served here], don’t tell the waiter to get you a Plain Masala Dosa [Been there, Done that])
Kamat Lokaruchi (A long drive on the Mysore road, find this place for breakfast and try the Idlis. If you have never liked Idlis in your life, you might just change your opinion. My cousin did.)
There are a zillion other small as well as lavish places to eat in Bangalore. Breakfast at Egg Factory or Hole in the wall, lunch at Military hotel (I have not been here and will never go there. But it’s worth a mention. I think I’ll turn into a dragon if I eat here. This is for all the spice lovers.) or Absolute Barbeque and dinner at Gramin or 13th floor. (You do see how I cleverly gave you two options for each meal, one super affordable and one totally opposite…smooth, huh!)
Once you have tried the local and the not local but popular eating places, now you can explore the pubs and breweries. Toit and Hard Rock Café and Big Brewsky (My fav place) and Loft 38 and many more.
Don’t forget, Bangalore has a super cool café culture. Ok, I can’t write about every place here, find me on zomato if you are so curious. I don’t mind a little extra followers. (Yeah, this post could just be an attempt to get more followers. You almost got me!).
Ok, now your tummy is all full and you are wondering, there are monuments and food in every city. Did you really need such a long post for that!
Hold on. The fun is not yet over. Remember, how I said “How can you ever get bored in a city like Bangalore!!”
No matter what your interests are; no matter how sporty, adventurous, artistic, nerdy you are; even if you are one of those who have no interests at all, there is something for each one. I am sure you will find something for yourself in my list, you see, I am a little bit of everything!
Play Arena. Quad biking and shooting and wall climbing and skate boarding and an open field if you have a football team and much more.
Decathlon. It’s not as such an activity place. It’s just a store. But I love it. Everything sports & adventure.
Cycle Day. Streets void of vehicles. Only cycles and skate boards and people playing chess on the road and hop scotching.
Camping. Pitching your tents, barbequing your food and sleeping under the night sky; what else do you need!
Breakout or Escape. Do you have the Sherlock spirit or Byomkesh Bakshi attitude? Real handcuffs and spooky ambiences and a mystery to solve.
Theater. Comedy and drama and monologues; almost every day, somewhere, someone is on stage, waiting for you to give up your multiplex seat and try the live theater. You can also go for a workshop, learn acting. How can life be boring!
Music & Concerts. Metallica to Arijit Singh. Find your music in the city. Not the concert type? Love Mohammad Rafi and Hemant Kumar? Join music lover’s group like Bhoole Bisre Geet and enjoy live performances of your favourite soulful music.
Workshops and Meetups. Do you have any idea how relaxing it is to just sit on the floor and make clay pots! Pottery Class, Art Exhibitions, Drumming lessons, barbeque sessions or Writer’s club; explore anything you want, in this city.
Intellectual. Seminars and conferences and TED talks and what not! From technology to politics, people here talk and share about everything. You can too.
Winery. Know your wine and jump into a huge bucket of grapes and slip and stomp and dance. It might get itchy and you might stain your clothes. But the fun and the wine will make you forget all that!
And hey, visit the Entertainment store for some of the coolest things ever! (No, no online shopping, switch off the laptop! Go check out the place. )
This city has everything from Marathons to Hackathons and everything in between!
And all this was just inside the city. I haven’t even started about the drives to hills and dams and waterfalls and the treks and weekend getaways and wonder la!
I have lived every bit of it, got drenched in the unannounced rains, cursed the traffic and the roads, danced till 11:30 (you get to dance till 1 now), talked in English to a pan wala and loved all of it. In its wonderful, amazing, flawed ways, Bangalore is anything but Boring!
So, they are saying ‘Smart is the new Sexy‘. I couldn’t agree more.
You might think that dating has the same rules, no matter who you date.
However, if you have ever dated a geek, it is a ‘parallel dating universe‘.
Before I go into what it is like dating a geek, let me explain the modern meaning of the term.
A Geek in today’s world is a technology enthusiast, overly intellectual and the one who can apply maths, physics to any real life situation.His favourite part of the world is usually inside his computer. His gadgets are his lifeline.
Now you think, almost every guy likes technology, loves his gadgets. Nothing different there.
But here are some revelations that you’ll know only when you date one.
1. If you are dating a geek, you usually won’t have many Exs to worry about. Sure, he may have crushed over someone but chances are you are the first one he dared to ask out.
2. He wishes for atleast one super power and daydreams of saving the planet with it. Mine wishes for Jedi power. (You Have to watch Star wars to understand that).
3. He definitely loves me a lot, but was almost on the verge of breaking up because I hadn’t read or seen ‘Lord of the Rings‘. Yea! It is surely their thing.
4. He expresses better with emoticons and would prefer to have ‘the talks’ through his tweets & updates than face to face.
5. Your gifts to him will instantly be instagramed.
6. You can never ask for directions. Google maps are the only right way.
7. He is ready to read about any intellectual subject but surely has a favourite comic series too.
8. If you get him to the kitchen, he will probably be really enthusiastic about it. But don’t think you can give him any tips or directions.
The Youtube video lady will be cooking by his side.
9. You won’t really argue much about facts. He is going to google it as soon as the conversation begins.
10. He will spend days researching on the Marvel Universe and final come out feeling enlightened and spread the wisdom to you, like the truth of life has finally become clear to him.
11. When he misses you, he will ping you interesting facts like
“Rumor has it that while Napoleon was suffering from a bad cough he accidentally ordered the execution of 1,200 prisoners.
His officers had been awaiting orders from the emperor when he was seized by a coughing fit.
The emperor exclaimed “Ma sacre toux,” meaning “My damn cough,” (or literally “My sacred cough,” but I think we know what he meant).
His men took his words to be “Massacre-tous,” meaning “Massacre all.” This strange accident would top the list if it were proven.
However, accounts of the incident vary greatly and many doubt whether this ever happened.”
12. He will enlighten you with cutting edge technological advancements. I was told about these wonderful inventions.
A cool new android powered mirror for the bathroom ( still futuristic to actually own)
Amazing dresses (I can probably never own)
13. He might share jokes like these with you.
So these two integers walk into a restaurant.
The first integer says, “I’ll have a piece of pie”.
The second integer says, “That’s not rational!”
The first integer replies: “We’ll divide it in two…”
All in all, it is an out of the world experience and you are lucky to have it.
From what I can say, geeks use their minds for complex things but their hearts remain simple
You can’t live alone. I was told when I questioned the purpose of marriage. You need a companion. Someone to hold your hand when times get tough. Someone who will always be there, no matter what. Someone who will provide the happiness that makes life worthwhile. It’s not that you can’t live alone, but living with someone who makes your life beautiful, is definitely better.
Relationships are made for us. They are meant to make the journey wonderful for us. But then why does the social system make it seem like, we are made for them. That the purpose of life is to stay in a relationship?
An average Indian home ( I say only Indian, because I can be sure of that), teaches the values of love, sacrifice, adjustability. We are taught to love others ( which is great ) but somewhere down the line did someone forget to teach us to love ourselves too?
Stepping into the sacred union of marriage, we are told how pious it is. How everything else is irrelevant. The importance of compromise is stressed upon more than needed. But what if it’s not a beautiful journey of ups & downs. Is it sacred, even if it makes you miserable?
Every sane & sensible person works hard on their relationship. What if you end up marrying someone, not so sane & sensible? Ofcourse you try harder. But your pain is ignored, your efforts never appreciated. You think of having kids; because that is the solution to all marital troubles. So you have a child. Things still don’t get better for you. You silently suffer. You try even harder. With the generations of values passed over to you, you are wired to believe that somehow your partner’s drawbacks are your fault. You feel guilty; probably you aren’t a good spouse. You go on living like that, wasting some of the most precious years of your life, because it’s your destiny or because you brought it upon your self. And you’re married and that is the final destination!
But you are just human and one day you finally let out the cry for help.
And I fail to understand, what took you so long!
People have given several reasons, ‘God hates divorce’; ‘the partner promised to change’; ‘they need time to find a place to go and money to survive’; ‘they thought love conquered all’.
And all I can think,
Doesn’t your God love you more than He hates divorce!
You don’t need to be the strong person responsible for helping your deeply troubled partner, face their demons. All these years you kept suffering thinking you owed the relationship a chance; what about, what you owe yourself.
You think your family’s honour will be scarred, you will be looked down upon! Those who love you will know that you are a fighter and a survivor and they will respect you for that; those who don’t, are not worth thinking about.
Maybe, ‘you should give it another try’. Is that because you spent all these years,’not giving it a try’!
The greatest reason probably is that child. Your one heart and soul. Will your child be from a broken home? Yes, they will be from a broken home but atleast they won’t be broken themselves. You will save them from the psychological effect of growing up in an unfriendly, abusive environment. They will not grow up to be an abuser, neither a sufferer. They will know that not everything is worth fighting for, and a life of peace and happiness is more important.
So, if you’re stuck in a disaster, get out of it, right this moment. Because you have one life and suffering here, doesn’t guarantee a place in heaven.